Working dad

[Aaron]

Noticed a few of us of late are knocking babies out. Mines 6-7 weeks now and been back to work a month. Had a few days were it's been just depressing and want to see my daughter and the little tit bits of **** at work just annoy me the moreso. Sometimes I felt it was going to be a toss up between her been upset that I'm at work or she would go a bit detached because I'm often away. I also felt guilty as she was quite a challenge for her mam and was upset about it but I now know I've been over worrying because finally now she is getting used to it and gets excited when I am on the phone/come home but still gets more clingy with her mother sometimes when I'm mid shifts but again doesn't seem phased hardly by it anymore.

I can't complain compared to some Dads(riggers, HGV drivers, soldiers etc) But with this been my first child it's not like I've had the experience before.

I work four on four off and travel three hours a day so see her briefly before I get my head down, again better then some but you feel how you feel.

Deep post is deep, interested to know what you other dads feel / felt like, this includes even non working dads disconnected to their kids also I suppose.

[P1nky]

Mate the feeling doesnt get any better but you have to realise its for her benefit and she will have greater respect for you as a working parent.

Gets better believe me. However it gets painful if your relationship breaks down my daughters 2 and a half and I see her alternative weekends and the odd phone call

[Aaron]

Yeah me and partner don't have as much time for each other but we've talked about it and plugging through it until I got a week off due to enjoy some family time. Thanks for the input. I did come to the conclusion also that working hard she will respect later, maybe lol.

[jt999]

I've been there. Working full time is ****, I actually moved into a flat over the road from where I worked when mine was due so I could go home at lunch etc and help as much as possible.

You need to ensure you have time to be a couple and not just a parent. It's hard to hand your kid over to someone else but you do need some time for it. I speak from experience that relationships fall apart without time for each other and not just the baby. Now I get less time than ever with my boy as I work quite far away so evenings aren't an option so I only have weekends.

You'll get used to it, it's hard but you get used to it all eventually.

[Aaron]

Yeah I hear you. All sound input here. Think I'm doing right more or less.

Hard as it may be best thing I've ever done been a dad, wouldn't mind another but I can't afford until career progresses/if.

[CorsaEdi]

Seen as mine was born nearly 2 week ago lol I can't really input anything helpful but I've been back at work since monday (I broke up from work for a week the day my daughter was born, which was lucky) anyway I'm doing 4 days a week from half 7 until 6 then Friday's half 7 until half 12 but I see her a hour before work and a couple after work

Also feed her on a night when she wakes up etc I am going to take paternity leave after Christmas to help my gf out, to the op I would say just don't worry too much about it you seem to be doing fine

[Taurus]

Well our daughters are 25 & 23 so I've had a few years experience of this kind of thing - you will will never get it 100% right, you just have to do the best you can. Kids have a very fine instinct for what's real about a person, if they know you're doing your best they'll cherish that.

For sure there will be times when you are the worst parent in the world. You are the strictest, meanest, most boring and irrelevant old far that ever walked this planet.

They grow through that eventually. And then you have a relationship that is brilliant. Rare - but brilliant. But it doesn't come cheap. And I don't mean in cash terms. You earn that respect the hard way.

[craig55]

Been back to work 3 days and have no intrest in doing any overtime there offering atm